The downside to making mini-pies is that they are a dang lot of work! I spent all month surfing for great recipes but, true to form, procrastinated the actual pie production until the Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving. This created a lot of pressure because I kicked into that stupid 'I WILL have everything perfect mode'. A pointless thing for me because I can't DO perfect no matter how badly I want to.
The meal started off well enough with tons of beautiful food cooked by various family members. My sister Jen cooks an amazing turkey every year and Rusty, her husband, is the master turkey carver. The turkey platter was filled with perfectly cooked, perfectly trimmed and artfully arranged slices of Thanksgiving bird. At least, it was BEFORE I got my hands on it.
That's not at all how it looked by the time I finally passed the plate. I was holding the platter and dishing up turkey to the little ones when I somehow managed to unbalance the whole thing and dump it on the floor! THE TURKEY!
It was sort of like in the movies- you know, when the person is yelling "Nooooooooooo" in slo mo as the slices of turkey fly every which way before landing in a heap on the carpet. All we needed to complete that scene from 'A Christmas Story' was the Bumpkis hounds.
It took me a moment to fully grasp what I had just done. I would like to claim I was in shock because this next part is even MORE embarrassing. As I'm frantically trying to grab turkey off the floor while supportive family members yell "10 Second Rule!", my brother-in-law decided to add some levity to the situation.
Except that his version of 'funny' wasn't very funny to my humiliated self and I sorta unloaded on him. It was only one sentence but it did contain the words 'donkey' and 'donut hole'- in a slightly different version. Not everyone heard it at the time but, in my family, you can be sure that everyone heard about it after.
I was so horrified that I had not only dropped the bird but verbally flipped my Brother-in-law the bird that I ended up leaving the room. Now, I didn't run off dramatically or anything like that. I just didn't come back after taking the platter back to the kitchen. I was so embarrassed and humiliated. First I drop the turkey then I cuss at my Brother-in-law. In one fell swoop I'd turned it into a 'White Trash' Thanksgiving Extravaganza. Not exactly what I had in mind as I made all those Martha Stewart-ish pies!
As I was sitting downstairs trying to figure out how I could possibly make a graceful re-entrance after my inglorious exit, my Sweet Pea came and found me and helped make it less embarrassing for me. Bless him.
The upside is that my BIL isn't the type to hold a grudge (I think he is still laughing) and my family is pretty forgiving too. I apologized to him for lashing out at him and he accepted my apology. My family was rather surprised by my little melt down since I'm generally a pretty laid back person. I guess we all have our moments.
They all tell me that at some point I WILL laugh about it. I'm getting there. One thing I know for sure- they'll NEVER let me live this one down. At every Thanksgiving Dinner for the rest of my life SOMEONE will make a quip about not letting me touch the turkey platter. Heck, they weren't even going to have the good grace to WAIT until next year- the teasing has already begun. It's okay though, if it happened to someone else I'd be the first person to tease so I guess I'd better suck it up and take it!
Greg told me I needed to blog about today but I wasn't going to do it. TOOOO embarrassing. He said it would be 'cathartic'. The bloggy friends I met for lunch today made me PROMISE I'd actually post this as well. So, here it is. Yet another attempt at perfect-gone-wrong post for your entertainment. What can I say? I guess it's just me being me.